Family

Isn't this a great picture? Here's Aaron, in Scotland, captured in a spontaneous moment. Gotta love it. To me, this image represents the entire "Sinclair family." We're goofy, one with nature, and we like the warm fuzzies that the sun provides--even on a chilly day. That day in Edinburgh was a momentous one....I had just started experiencing what I call the Year from Hell (i.e. Being 28).....This was taken as we ventured toward King Arthur's Seat. I stood atop the giant Seat and looked out over the land--the wind extremely strong--and the whole next year opened up before me, all the good stuff I'd go through, all the incredibly yucky stuff. I knew that Year 28/Year 2005 was going to be one where I'd have to reach inside, yank out my spiritual guts, examine them under a microscope, and stitch them back inside, scarred but better understood. On a side note, but related: I am just finishing up Stephen King's IT. I feel like King must have been possessed when writing this book, channeling some Ultra-Muse. This book is about childhood fears, conquering them as adults, facing down our worst enemies (often ourselves), and battling those Evil Clowns we're all scared of. IT is a faerietale ripped open, flipped inside out, and full of lots of blood and screaming--as all good faerietales are. As many of you know, I'm fascinated by faerietales and how they permeate our hearts and lead us to make personal moral and ethical decisions. They've been told since the beginning of time, and creep through forests, castles, and suburbia in modern times. I recommend reading IT, then watching POLTERGEIST (another Evil Clown, alongside a human-hungry tree) and you'll understand what I mean about Facing Down Fear. It's interesting how so many people try to create a life of dichotomy: after a breakup, we want to believe in a "you and me"; as an adult, we want to believe in a "that was me as a kid and this is me all grownup." However, there are no firm lines. Everything is blurry. We carry every one of our lovers with us, a permanent part of us, and we all have different versions of ourselves inside vying for attention. I have the five-year-old me starting his first day of kindergarten, the twelve-year-old me whose father just walked out the door, the eighteen-year-old me coming out of the closet, the twenty-something me saying goodbye to a boyfriend.....I'm trying to not just tolerate, but to embrace, the blurry....