Home

Luna has a new home. She and Ollie are alternately brother/sister and partner/lover with one another. We'll have to wait and see how many times they've read Flowers in the Attic before they make a corporate decision. Mom and I do miss Mollie: her cuddly abilities, her cute littleness. But we are honored to give Luna a place of safety and warmth, and Mollie will be easier to adopt, anyway -- she's young and friendly and housetrained and all that good stuff, just like Luna, except Luna's way older and thus would not be as "adoptable" (ugh). Mom and I think Luna looks like an antique teddy bear, one of those white-and-brown stuffed ones that look more like real bears than the cutesy teddy bears of today. (Cutesy definitely has its place, though.)

While writing this morning, I couldn't help but draw the parallels between my character's home and my own -- the love of mannequins and weird dolls, kitschy-meets-creepy-meets-spiritual. Maybe I'll never know all the reasons I love to collect them and name them and "give" them personalities....I've rescued them, so maybe that's it....found them cracked and broken, loved too much or loved too little. I can totally see the humor in my obsession, the goofiness of having Cassandra wedded to Cosmos, with their child Babette. Gizmo hangs from my curtain rod with Jordan's old cowboy jacket on him; Gabe/Paige (I can't remember which one his name was/is!), my old Cabbage Patch Kid, is stapled to the beam in the basement (his forlorn sister slung over a railing on the front porch); drawings and pictures and faeries and postcards are scatter-placed all over my bedroom and the rest of our home like little clues into my psyche.

I'm making sure to give Ollie extra kisses and hugs, so he doesn't feel left out and jealous. Mom and I wonder, a bit, if we made the right decision -- "Will Ollie feel sad not all the attention is focused on him?" -- but we realize that Ollie can't and shouldn't be too spoiled, and that this will be good for him to share. Plus, he won't be lonely during the day when we're both at work.

Yesterday was a day of weird weather and cackling laughter (not by me) and a comfy couch and some really great "Don't Fear the Reaper" moments. Today the sun has pushed through, and the cold air is both sharp and wet and fresh.

I keep thinking about this Christmas: What will it be like to not have Jordan and Aaron here? What will it be like to have Ben with his family down in northern California? I think it's natural that Jan and I will be bummed out, but I'm also hoping we can create a one-year tradition for ourselves filled with new possibilities and flexible fun ideas. Jordan and Aaron -- we sure do love and miss you!

And to the rest of you: Keep on reading. It means so much to me I get to share this blog with you.