Tidbits

Lately some very important events have happened & occurred with me in these little flashes that, on first glance, seem isolated or "non-tapestry like" but in retrospect all fit together into a feeling I can't quite put a finger on. I feel like I've been going through a metamorphosis lately, and these life-moments have helped bring everything to fruition.

The tidbits:

1) Going to the carnival with Mom and Charlie. I was trying to get used to how things have changed--electronic tickets that you swipe like a debit card instead of crinkly blue tickets with raffle numbers....Sno-Cones in plastic flower-looking things instead of the wet, gooey, paper cones (but, as usual, the vendor put far from enough yummy sugary syrup into it, so I guess some things never change!)....And as I was taking in these changes, the three of us decided to venture into a petting zoo of sorts. That term's pretty inaccurate, actually. There were mammals and reptiles and birds and fish from different parts of the world, and many--if not most--were unpettable. This didn't want to stop me from trying, though; I got so sad in the tent, almost felt suffocoated, almost felt a panic attack coming on. The lynx and cougar seemed so sad. The monkeys' sad eyes stared at everyone with bored and drained exhaustion. And the porcupine. It kept turning back and forth, stir-crazy, cage-crazy, cage-madness, whatever the term is. I could tell that he'd gone mad from being trapped in this tiny metal space, and I knew I had to leave the tent before a full-blown panic attack set in. (Panic attacks are elusive enemies of mine. They'd moved away, but sometimes they threaten to return to my neighborhood.) I hurried from the tent and waited for Mom and Charlie. And I glanced back inside, heard and smelled and just felt the wrongness of it all....The children poking and prodding....teens giggling and pointing....parents chasing down their little ones....other people looking on sadly like me. It was far from a fun experience, and it haunted me for the rest of the night.

2) Karla and I went for a walk this week, and the sun was out (and my allergies were in full force) and the sun just felt perfect on our skins. We came across a group of young girls, six or seven of them, all around seven years old (one of them was maybe three). Usually, Karla pointed out, when you see kids having a stand it's a lemonade stand, and there's a small sign that is scrawled with crayon or marker announcing the sale of the yummy summer beverage. The theatrics of the stand--a table with pitchers of lemonade or whatnot--overshadow the cute sign. This kids' sale--of their rock collection--was the opposite. They had a HUGE typed/printed sign that must have come from a rock quarry or something, and they had rocks of various sizes, and the number of rocks--maybe fifteen--paled in comparison to this gargantuan sign! It was the cutest thing. Karla agreed to buy a rock, but she needed to cash in a twenty for some smaller bills, and we promised to come back. You should have seen these girls negotiating with each other--and us--regarding the prices of the rocks and stones. "That one's big, so it's a dollar." "No, it's medium! It's seventy-five cents. Wait, no, fifty!" "This small one only costs a quarter." "We'll make you a deal and give you both these rocks for a dollar." Karla and I left smiling and laughing with delight. The only thing to taint this is that, after we'd gone for dinner on Hawthorne and come back, the girls had already retreated back to their homes for the evening. Karla has promised to hunt them down she she can buy that rock; I have to keep tabs so I know what happens. And the wonderful epilogue to the evening? Karla giving me Winifred to come home and meet my mannequins, dolls, and other friends that hang out in my bedroom. Winifred is a pink unicorn pinata that lived with Fred, someone very close to Karla who passed away. I've always complimented Ms. Winnie every time I've gone to Karla's, and I feel honored she's entrusting her with me. (Winifred's name came to me in a flash, and it turns out it's Karla's mom's middle name....and, of course, it has "Fred" as part of her name.)

3) I stopped in Tiny's Coffee on MLK earlier this week, and I just instantly fell in love with--and was magnetically drawn to--all the artwork and wonderful other stuff they have on the walls, the counters, the everywhere. I'll keep my favorite part a secret, but only because it eerily converges with the novel I'm writing and with something I received in my mailbox that very day. Marieke -- was it you who coined "convergence" for me, at least in Nathan Land? I believe so.

4) Looking forward to Ben's return tonight.

5) Received a lovely letter from Alie this week.

6) Can't wait to see Jordan and Aaron next week in NYC.

7) Am feeling empowered, and powerful, with my writing.

8) Was touched and moved by last night's Gilmore Girls' episodes.

9) Had another strange dream last night -- but this, too, is a secret.

10) Have made the best damn dishes of ice cream the past two days.

11) Got a kick out of my conversation with Aaron last night -- our own O.C. convergence!

12) Loved the walk with Mom and Ollie. Ollie is the cutest damn thing, even outranking those girls selling rocks.