Friday, February 17, 2006

Totem Creatures


Sometimes I wonder about the connection we all have with other creatures on this planet. Why do we connect with owls or stags or seahorses? Is it because we were these creatures in a past life? Or do we "mold" our relationships with certain animals/creatures based on how we perceive ourselves and others perceive us? When I was younger, I used to think that my totem creature was a ladybug. And who knows. Maybe at the time it was. I certainly have had some amazing and beautiful experiences where ladybugs have shown up in expected places. On my shoulder. On a friend's computer screen. Some very unlikely little places along the way. Looking back, I think the inner-me was trying to figure out just WHO I was--my desires, fears, ways of approaching situations. Over time I've comfortably settled into a relationship with owls. I think they capture me both in spirit and in physicality. I've never seen an owl in the wilderness, although I've heard them. I've witnessed their beauty in zoos, and these experiences have been tinged with both grace and a little bit of sadness at the fact that they're behind bars. Don't get me wrong--I actually think zoos have some pretty darn great purposes--but just the fact that I couldn't witness an owl flying free has made my heart do tiny pitter-patters. The closest I've gotten was in Stratford-upon-Avon, where a bird trainer at one of Shakespeare's "habitats" asked for a volunteer for a demonstration. I raised my hand and headed out into this field. He had me stand at one end; he stood at the other, with the barn owl perched on his arm. Another trainer stood behind me. I crouched down, and he let the owl fly, and it zoomed through the air and right over my head--its feathered wings even skimmed my hair--and it landed on the other trainer's arm. I was in heaven. Owls come to me in my dreams, usually when I'm going through a really stressful period. Their eyes glow burning white light and they approach me from treetops or windowsills. I wake up feeling electric, comforted, in tune.

1 Comments:

Blogger Michael Faris said...

Do you read science fiction/fantasy at all? I can't remember. Anyway, there is a young adult series titled His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman. The first book is titled The Golden Compass.

In these books, people have daemons, which are animals that represent their spirits and which are constantly be their sides. When you are a child, your daemon morphs between different animals, so that it reflects your mood. When you hit adolescence, at the time of your "quickening" (to be Catholic[?] about it), your daemon settles down into one specific animal that represents you.

Your post reminded me of this. Perhaps your daemon/token animal does morph throughout your childhood and then settles into one? Perhaps it morphs throughout your life?

Anyway, they're good books too; you should read them!

17.2.06  

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