Joy and Sorrow

Joy and sorrow go hand in hand, don't they? I was so glad for the opportunity to have the "Spring Fling" on Saturday with Mom, Karla, and Christina. We shared poems, artwork, music, and stories from our latest Life goings-on. I was touched by everyone's contributions, and I think that Christina hit the nail on the head during her musings on joy and sorrow, and how they're linked, and how too often we try to deny sorrow, or we tell others that we're okay when we're feeling anything but. And it's true -- it's all really about that acknowledgement of pain, of letting our bodies & hearts process it (but not wallow in it). I've decided to just acknowledge this part of me right now. The longer I fight it, the longer it will take to heal. Sometimes being a "fighter" means being willing to let the sadness in. That often is what takes real courage.

Regina Spektor's "That Time" (courtesy of Christina and Karin) is my new Song of the Moment.

What a weekend: Hood River (with its magical bookstores)....Timberline Lodge (and the biting snow)....the Spring Fling....finally seeing B, and hugging him, and wanting us--willing us, almost--to make things right and to try again and to fight for what's Real between us....the Enchanted Forest, and jumping over the little wooden fence into the exhibit with Alice and the Caterpillar, and kneeling down, and having Karin take my picture with my "huh?" expression on my face. The Enchanted Forest, I must say, was just a pure delight. The dusty gift shops, the Free Water Show, the Haunted House and Ice Mountain. I felt so at peace--and so sad--there. Funny, isn't it, how those often complement one another.

Miss you, B. Damn.