Thursday, September 16, 2010

quote of the day

"I was beginning to get the sense that his mind was like a jukebox and his emotions were plastic sleeves that displayed states of being instead of albums. I could almost hear the plastic slapping sound as his emotional catalog browsed itself, found nothing, and began to backtrack."

--Nick Burd, The Vast Fields of Ordinary

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Sperm Donors, House Keys, Deadbeat Dads, & (Technological) Breakdowns: Coming Soon to a Blog Post Near You

....and here we are.

I've been MIA way longer than intended on this blog (at least in terms of a personal post). Are you still out there, faithful readers? I was also MIA in late 2009, but while that was for darker reasons, this latest blip in the blog-o-sphere is because of happier, more life-affirming things. Strange how we can go from one of the darkest periods of our lives to one of the most beautiful and strong; I know -- without a doubt -- that both are connected in a yin-yang sort of way. The lessons lie in the blurring, the joining, of the two. On that same note, while I feel showered with blessings from the Universe in 2010, I know I've also done lots of hard work this past year or so to get here.

I've missed you -- though I do struggle with how to convey what's been going on in my life without getting too personal. (*I also fear I'll be bland or white-wash things too much and thus won't get personal enough.) But I'm going to take more of a chance today, let slip some of the details. Vulnerability can release power.

To start, let's look at my wacky life in the past week:
*My brother Jordan called to tell me his friend wants him to donate his sperm so she can have a baby. He'd have no financial obligation to the child, but the one "requirement" is that -- when the child is old enough -- s/he gets to know who her/his father is. Lots for Jordan to consider!
*My estranged father called my brother Aaron to jump-start a new phase of the family dynamic. This, after my reunion with our father last May (which I don't think I blogged about). Aaron and Dad talked for an hour and a half last night; Aaron was direct, honest, and open-minded.
*Gus gave me a key to his place, which warmed my heart. The key is colored in red roses and jumps out at me from its place on the key chain. ("Who the heck is Gus?" you're asking? Well, folks, he's my new fella.)
*Gus and I headed to Astoria, and to the North Bend and Cape Disappointment lighthouses. At Cape Disappointment, within fifteen minutes: a snake slithered across the trail; a bunny examined us calmly then hopped away; hundreds of dragonflies flew around us in droves as we stared out at the ocean, the near-sunset casting strong rays onto the water; two does grazed off the path leading back to the car; and a bald eagle flew over our heads then circled the area.
*After seven years, my computer -- Mischa -- has decided to tell me she's about had it, and that I either have to A) get her life support (a.k.a. an external hard-drive) or B) let her rest in peace and reincarnate her in a new iBook life form.
*Gus and I visited the Audubon Society, and he got to meet Hazel, my wide-eyed owl friend with the soft and loving gaze.
*I learned that my step-grandmother, whom I haven't seen in years, passed away. I always really liked Lee -- her zest for life, her zany, gutsy truths and "Hey Darlin's" pronounced in that raspy, Demi Moore-like, Midwestern accent.
*Helped Karla find a wedding dress.
*Had a spontaneous get-together with Lizzy, and walked through Pier Park (what a Portland gem!). After we departed I stopped into a thrift store, some homespun magic land of secondhand shirts and windup toys and sad, misfit dolls. The young woman -- she reminded me of a witch and fairy godmother combined, with a splash of hippie granola -- and I chatted about dolls, about giving them homes, and Pip came back with me. Pip is now in the good hands of a coworker who needed a pick-me-up.

If we open up the discussion to the couple weeks preceding that, I'd have to mention: my dear friend Anya contacting me from the Ukraine and writing me a beautiful, heartfelt letter after years of us not being in touch; Mom falling out of a raft and almost breaking her foot on a rock in some Northern California rapids; my "National Roommate Day" with Lisa, our time at the sauna; Julie moving back to the East Coast, and our melancholic but pure-friendship goodbye at the airport. And the list goes on.

This has been my best summer in Oregon since I've moved here. Winter to Summer, Dark to Light, Heartbreak to Falling in Love. Funny, much of what I intended to write about didn't even show up here -- this is what poured out instead. So there we have it.


Monday, September 06, 2010

"I'm Here. I'm Queer. What the Hell Do I Read?"

Here's a great new blog I stumbled upon. Focused on LGBTQ lit for teens, it's entitled:

"I'm Here. I'm Queer. What the Hell Do I Read?"

Rock on, Mr. Wind!

quote of the day

"Some things have to be believed to be seen."

--Ralph Hodgson