Pan's Labyrinth (This looks like pure Nathan Essence)

Christmas

I've been keeping this blog for almost a year now, thanks to Tara. I love being able to put myself out there a little bit. It feels romantic, epic, and intimate all at the same time. Some of you stop by once in a while, and others check up on me daily. And lots of you stumble onto me just once. It's all good. I'm thankful for the time we spend together:)

It has been a near perfect Christmas. Perfect, really. Since Life is never perfect, we can just get super close. And my holidays this year reached that! I've had such a lovely time with Mom, Jordan, and Aaron. Our first Portland Christmas -- together! We ate too much, drank and smoked too much, and--as always--kicked ass way too much! Seriously, how lovely: the Buck crew (with our built-in sisters Jennifer and Karin) going to the Festival of Lights, Peacock Lane, and Dot's for dinner; Aaron and I feeding Missy and grabbing coffee/lunch at Creme; the "core four" taking Exit 17 off Highway 84 and getting tangled in the lush loveliness of the forests near Multnomah Falls; opening one thoughtful present after the next (I can't tell you how extremely well people know me; it shows in what they offered me this year for my birthday and for Christmas); turning 30 and loving it; having delicious talks with Ben and anticipating his arrival home tonight; loving that Karla, Jennifer, and Matt joined us yesterday and helped complete the holiday circle. Now I'm back at work, but I don't mind because I get to go home and see my brothers! I am already sad they are leaving in a few days, but I'm working on this: getting sad about goodbyes before it's time to say goodbye. And isn't it really just "See You Soon"?

Many blessings,
N

Movie Marathon Ideas (Or, Nathan's Crazy and Actually Thinks About These Things)

Grab a cup of coffee and ponder these ideas for gatherings with friends, family, and maybe even enemies. I'd love, love, love to hear all your ideas, too, and I'm sure a ton more will come to me after I post this!!!! I LOVE thinking about this kind of stuff, how things gel together, how we can all bond and have "experiences" together through film and TV.....Wow....What does this say about me?

Dove Hugs,
N

p.s. This post is dedicated to Jennifer, who did stuff like this at Hampshire all the time, where it was a raging success! Thanks, Nif, I owe you one.
*******************************************************************************
Movie Marathon Ideas

The Society-a-Thon
American Beauty
Lawn Dogs
The Village

Society-a-Thon: The Sequel
The Ice Storm
The Upside of Anger
The Gift
(alternative: Imaginary Heroes)

Decaying Suburbs (Or, What’s Under the Surface)
Poltergeist
Halloween
A Nightmare on Elm Street

A Dreamy Triple Feature
Dreamscape
A Nightmare on Elm Street
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

Halloween Marathon
Halloween
Halloween II
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers
(This excludes Halloween III: Season of the Witch, which doesn’t follow the Michael Myers/Shape mythology, and excludes Halloween: H20 and Halloween: Resurrection, which give an alternate history [and a much more lame one] to this same mythology.)

Gore Galore
House of Wax (Remake)
Silent Hill (Unrated Version)
The Descent (Unrated Version)

Time to Neck
Let’s Scare Jessica to Death
Interview with the Vampire
The Lost Boys
(Alternative: Bram Stoker's Dracula)

Graphic Violence
Unbreakable
Sin City
(alternatives: The X-Men trilogy or the Spiderman films or a TV's Heroes marathon)

The War Zone Via Magic
Constantine
Underworld (Extended Version)
Underworld: Evolution

Connect the Dots
Short Cuts
Grand Canyon
Crash

Possession, Voodoo, and Other Horrifying Real Things
The Believers
The Serpent and the Rainbow
Angel Heart (Unrated Version)

How to Destroy the World in 10 Days
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Signs
War of the Worlds

Seeing is Believing
The Sixth Sense
Flatliners
The Exorcist
(extremely healthy alternative: Mannequin)

Get Closer (and closer)
Bodies, Rest, & Motion
Dancing About Architecture (or, Playing By Heart)
Fearless
(extremely healthy alternatives or additions: As Good As It Gets and/or St. Elmo's Fire)

Pins & Needles (the Kirsty Edition)
Hellraiser
Hellraiser II: Hellbound (Unrated Version)
Hellraiser 6: Hellseeker

Bonfires, Blood, & S’more
Sleepaway Camp
Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers
Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland
OR
Friday the 13th Parts I through X. (Feel free to skip Part 9, Jason Goes to Hell, and Jason X [a.k.a. Jason in Space]. Even Part 8 [Jason Takes Manhattan] is iffy, but it’s worth a viewing at least once.)
OR
Sleepaway Camp
Friday the 13th
The Blair Witch Project
Book of Shadows – Blair Witch 2

Postmodern Slashers 101
Scream
Scream 2
Scream 3

Our Childhood Nightmares (Or, Clowns and Dolls!)
Poltergeist
Child’s Play
Child’s Play 2

Zombies!
Night of the Living Dead (Original)
Dawn of the Dead (Remake)
28 Days Later

Essence
The Last Unicorn
The Neverending Story
The Dark Crystal

Essence: The Sequel
Labyrinth
The Princess Bride
Legend

Confronting Your Childhood Fears
Return to Oz
Donnie Darko
Poltergeist
Flatliners
(highly recommend alternative: Paperhouse)

Existentialism & Philosophy
The United States of Leland
The Wisdom of Crocodiles (released in the states as – Immortal)
The Rapture

A Melancholy Nostalgia
Stand By Me
The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys
Brick

How to Watch Twin Peaks (This breaks the viewing of the entire series and the movie into four days/events. I’ve split this up into a seasonal, thematic, and structural “square.” Discuss.)
Day/Event #1: Pilot plus Episodes 1-7 (or, the entire first season)
Day/Event #2: Season 2, Episodes 1-9
Day/Event #3: Season 2, Episodes 10-16
Day/Event #4: Season 2, Episodes 17-22 plus Fire Walk with Me (the prequel, but it MUST be watched last!)
*I recommend trying to kick things off with Day/Event #1 on the last/near last weekend in February, preferably a Saturday where you can drink lots of coffee, have some beer, eat tons of donuts and cherry pie, and maybe smoke a little. Laura Palmer died on February 23rd, and we need to honor her with style, sensitivity, and a touch of gluttony.
*MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE you watch the original pilot, not the European version, which has an alternative ending and isn't cohesive with the rest of the series. The European version should only be watched once you are a diehard fan and have already followed my orders for the above viewing sequence....
*If you need an extra little dessert, or something to defuse after viewing, you might consider watching Industrial Symphony No. 1, which has a satanic reindeer, Julee Cruise as a glittery angel, and a small man with a saw. There's also a naked woman climbing over metallic structures, and plenty of trippy, magical goings-on.

Thanks for the Ride, Lady
Breakdown
The Hitcher (Original)
Creepshow 2

Need a Lift?
Herbie -- Fully Loaded
Christine
Cujo

I'm Lost, Can You Help Me?
Duel
Deliverance
The Hills Have Eyes (either version -- if you pick the new one, make sure it's the unrated version)
(alternative: Joyride, although the only thing good about this movie is the ass shot of Paul Walker. Still, it's a great ass, so totally worth considering. Another alternative -- Wrong Turn, which is actually kinda scary-gross AND has Eliza Dushku, from Buffy & Angel fame.)

War Is Hello, Get a Grip
The Deer Hunter
Full Metal Jacket and/or Platoon
Jacob's Ladder

Nuclear Wasteland
The Hills Have Eyes (Original)
Mad Max Trilogy (Mad Max, The Road Warrior, and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome)
*You MUST watch the whole trilogy in order to experience Tina Turner's hair and her theme song, "We Don't Need Another Hero." Goose bumps every time.

I Wish Things Were Really Like That
Sheena: Queen of the Jungle
Krull
Conan the Barbarian
Beastmaster

Homoerotic Adolesence
School Ties
White Squall
Lord of the Flies

Whoa -- Am I Dead or Just Trippin'?
Ghost
Soul Survivors
Jacob's Ladder

Angels
It's a Wonderful Life
City of Angels
Constantine

Santa Claus is Real!
A Miracle on 34th Street
Tales from the Crypt (the killer Santa episode)
Silent Night, Deadly Night
Black Christmas

You Inspire Me
Sister Act
Dead Poet's Society
Good Will Hunting
(alternative: The History Boys)

There's Something Tickling My Toe....
Lady in the Water
Jaws
Pirahna
(healthy alternative: She-Creature)

Mermaids
The Little Mermaid (Disney)
Splash
Lady in the Water
(healthy alternative: She-Creature)

Crybabies
Ordinary People
Beaches
Terms of Endearment

Western Epics
The Man from Snowy River
Young Guns
Legends of the Fall
Brokeback Mountain
(Additions/alternatives: Shane, Silverado, Lonesome Dove, Desperado, and/or Pale Rider)

Man's Worst Friend
White Dog
Cujo
The Pack
(You can also make things more hilarious by adding Lassie and/or Old Yeller to the mix.)

Wow: We Evolved from THAT?
Link
Monkey Shines
Altered States
(Alternative: 28 Days Later)

Fucked-Up Religious Musings by Way of Horror
The Lair of the White Worm
Altered States
The Unholy

Grimm Angst
Meridian
The Company of Wolves
Gothic
Nightbreed
Brotherhood of the Wolf

Sherilyn Fenn ('Nuff Said)
Meridian
Two Moon Junction
Boxing Helena
The United States of Leland

Threesomes
Threesome
Wild Things
Basic Instinct (Unrated Director's Cut)
(excellent alternative: Twin Falls Idaho)

I Care About Your Character (Even Though I Don't Want To)
The Woodsman
Little Children
The Silence of the Lambs

Friday
Freaky Friday (Remake)
Friday
Friday the 13th
(alternative: Saturday the 14th, for the Inner Spoof Child in us all)

Witch Way from Here?
Practical Magic
The Witches of Eastwick
The Craft
(Alternatives: Escape to Witch Mountain & Return from Witch Mountain)

Where are the Wolves?
The Company of Wolves
The Howling
Wolfen and/or Wolf

Kids Movies Not for Kids (and which have scarred you for life)
Gremlins
Return to Oz
Something Wicked This Way Comes
The Watcher in the Woods
(highly recommended alternative: Paperhouse)

I Wish This Kid Were My Friend So S/He Could Kick the Bully at School's Ass
The Good Son
The Ring
Pet Semetary
The Changeling
(You may also pick anything [anyone!] from the Prom Dates or Don't Fuck with Me categories below)

That's So Gay
Billy Elliot
Ma Vie En Rose (My Life in Pink)
My Own Private Idaho
The Object of My Affection
(alternative: Gone with the Wind and/or The Sound of Music)
OR
Rainbow Brite and the Star-Stealer
My Little Pony - The Movie
The Last Unicorn
OR
Marathon Viewings of She-Ra: Princess of Power and/or JEM

Prom Dates (Or, It’s That Time of Month)
Prom Night
Carrie
May

Bad-Ass 80's
Rad
Breakin'
Tuff Turf

High School Blows
The Breakfast Club
Lucas
Heathers
Donnie Darko
Carrie

Nobody Puts Movies in a Corner
Dirty Dancing
Footloose
Flashdance

Stalk Me, You Crazy Woman, You
The Crush
Misery
Fatal Attraction
(alternatives: Single White Female, Play Misty for Me, and/or Basic Instinct, the Unrated Director's Cut)

Don’t Fuck with Me
The Craft
Firestarter
Carrie
(alternative: Edward Scissorhands and/or Powder)
(bonus for the educated: Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood)

Cooped Up
The Others
Cabin Fever
The Shining

Haunted Houses
House and/or House 2: The Second Story
The Watcher in the Woods
The Others and/or The Changeling
The Amityville Horror (Remake)
House of Wax (remake)

My Tummy Hurts
Gremlins
Alien
Predator
(bonus for the educated: Ghoulies)

Lost in Space
Alien
Aliens
Alien 3 (or, Alien Cubed)
Alien: Resurrection

Space Cadets
Starman
Contact
Alien
(healthy alternatives: The Last Starfighter and/or Flight of the Navigator)

Play with Me
Troll
Ghoulies
Critters
Gremlins

I Love You, Mommy
Mommy Dearest
The Deep End
Psycho (Original)

Bunny Slippers & Painted Nails
Slumber Party Massacre
Slumber Party Massacre II
Slumber Party Massacre III

Dead High School Girls
The River's Edge
Brick
Halloween
OR
Twin Peaks marathon
OR
Veronica Mars marathon

Have You Checked the Children?
Adventures in Babysitting
Halloween
When a Stranger Calls (Original)
When a Stranger Calls Back

Are You There, God? It's Me, Movie Watcher
Contact
Flatliners
The Seventh Sign
Priest
The Rapture
***********************************************************************************
There are many more possibilities, but I think that's good for now:) I'm sure I'll do a "sequel" to this list at some point! And I can't wait to hear all your ideas! Just know I'm totally here--whether you are loved one or stranger, and in that case you're still a loved one--if you'd like me to go into detail about why I chose certain marathons....Some are obvious, some are Nathan-Specific, and some are Universe-Specific.

Love y'all!

The Twin Peaks Teen Trilogy....

The Anatomically Correct Carrot (Thanks, Rebecca!)

Peacock Lane

Ben and I had a lovely time yesterday seeing all the houses on Peacock Lane. It was amazing to walk up and down the street, in the bustle of children and parents and others, and just soak in the Christmas lights; the Santa Claus; the weird man dressed in a neon light suit (Ben and I thought he might be the Futuristic Santa Claus). What was even more amazing was the little stand, with the volunteers passing out tiny cups of hot chocolate and hot cider. I mean, the older gentleman and the younger gentlemen were so nice and patient with everyone, and they were taking 50 cent donations, which I thought was adorable! I had heard there was going to be hot chocolate available, and in my mind I was expecting some stand where there were size options to the cups (I thought: "I'll treat Ben and I to grandes!") but the ma-and-pa approach was way better and much more perfect. I mean, when you're doing something like strolling down a Winter Wonderland, do you really want a Starbucks Peppermint Mocha? Well, the answer's yes (!) but it would have taken something away from the small town feel of things. And yes: The Nathan House is on Peacock Lane! It has the cutest window on the top floor, and this little walkway with a cute door separating the home and garage, and they just had magnificent lights trailing all over the place. I want to move there.

Oh, I must mention that I had a most exquisite time at my 30th birthday party on Saturday. Thank you, Kevin, for opening your doors....And thank you all for your kindness, quirkiness, and friendship. I couldn't ask for better friends! I am so blessed! We had a crackling fire; yummy food; yummy beverages; and great conversations. Plus, I got to be all "aw shucks" when everyone sang to me. I blew out those candles in one fell swoop!

My dreams have been so fascinating lately. So uplifting, albeit in a strange & hallucinatory kind of way. But would I take them any way else?

Storms

Been thinking a lot about Fleetwood Mac's "Storms." Stevie says, "I have always been a storm...."

Last night's storm was beautiful. Tree branches snapped off; fences collapsed; orange cones toppled over; the air crackled with fresh magnetism; the sky was clear this morning.

I had THE most wonderful dream about my family two nights ago. It may be the coolest dream I've ever had. And while I want to keep it to myself, just know that it makes me feel like a million bucks times infinity plus one.

I have my 30th birthday party tomorrow. Wow. The 30's are going to rock! And I can't wait for Jordan and Aaron to visit next week. Surprises are in store, my brothers.

Love,
Nathan

p.s. Hello to Andy Frost, the fellow gay JEM fan!!!!

J. Frey

Check him out at:
http://shaii.com/jfrey/

Have a lovely day,
Nathan

Spirits & My Best of the Year

Ben has a lovely view outside his bedroom window. The light and shadows hit all the clouds just right. The houses are haunted with melancholy magic, and the spirits & faeries love to congregate in those invisible spaces where all the homes/properties meet. They dance and make things beautiful. The sky is exquisite every day. Sunrise is perfect. And did anyone see that moon last night, hidden behind the clouds and tree branches?

That being said, I've decided to throw my Best of the Year list out there a touch early. Things could change, but I'm mostly looking for an excuse to hear from all of you with YOUR Best Of Lists. (Oh, and I don't have a specific number "required" or anything. I'm being pretty random with this list, including the fact that not all things were actually released in 2006.)

Let's see:

MOVIES:
1) The Descent -- Bloody, psychologically intense. An interesting look at the dynamics between groups of female friends, a peek at the secrets that get revealed under stressful circumstances. If being hunted down in a dark cave by Golem-looking creatures isn't stressful, I really don't know what is. This movie is not for the faint of heart, but for anyone who wants to see a really, really scary movie (I mean, one of the best) dive into this one immediately.
2) Little Children -- An intimate look at suburbia, adultery, betrayal, family relationships, our selfish desires, and our need to connect through both our bodies and hearts. The acting is superb, the story knotted tight. Todd Fields is a magnificent director. And wow. Could anyone beat Kate Winslet, Patrick Wilson, and Jennifer Connelly? Amazing cast with subtle nuances that make them real-to-the-bone.
3) The Prestige-- Magic! And Christian Bale! An extended cameo by David Bowie! Love and blood and betrayal and loss and history and lush costumes and sadness and hope. And did I mention magic?

MUSIC:
1) Tori Amos, Little Earthquakes -- This is the version Tori always wanted to put out, and the songs have all been remastered to make them sound at their peak level. "Flying Dutchman" is one of Tori's best songs, and I can't help but love that it comes right after "Me and a Gun" now. Sailing on a ghost ship = redemption after rape. Naturally, Tori placed these "girls" in this order for a reason....
2) Charlotte Martin, Stromata -- The title track breaks my heart with the narrator's need to connect to someone just as tissue connects all the organs in our bodies. This is a Nathan Life Song, for sure. And the final track, "Redeemed"....wow....the mention of spring snow gives me goose bumps every time.
3) Trespassers William, Different Stars -- This album feels like I'm floating through space, getting scratched on stars and riding on the tails of comets, all the while stoned off my ass and seeing angels with barbed wire wings. And fuck, the band's name is a Winnie the Pooh reference! How cool is that!
***Special mentions to Hem (Funnel Cloud), Lily Holbrook (everything was beautiful and nothing hurt), the Lost Season #1 score, Trespasser's William (their next album, Having), Daughter Darling (sweet shadows), the new version of the Veronica Mars theme song by the Dandy Warhols, Paula Cole's song "Postcards from East Oceanside," and my new(ish) appreciation for Iron & Wine. These artists are just the tip of the iceberg, but I'll stop now!

TV SHOWS:
1) Veronica Mars, Season #2 -- Life in Neptune, California gets more complicated for our favorite teen sleuth. Mysteries revolve around a bus accident, a pregnancy, secrets rooms in the backs of closets, pool games in sketchy bars, elevators, and--of course--plenty of bedroom antics. Kristen Bell is a goddess of the small screen. I just love her with all my heart!
2) Lost, Season #3 -- Kate and Sawyer are heating up everything they touch (including each other), and I love Elizabeth Montgomery's character (what the heck's her name?). The flashbacks this season are spot-on (Kate's with her failed attempt at true love shot right into my veins).
3) Supernatural, Seasons #1 and #2 -- I think of this show as HGFE (or, Hot Guys Fighting Evil). I mean, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki get sweaty and rugged in each episode, and go after demons while grunting and flexing their muscles. I'm all about Good v. Evil, but I may be even more about eyes I could melt into in a heartbeat. Plus, all the Jock Rock (Cock Rock!) they play satisfies that inner part of Nathan many people aren't aware of: the part that love's Meatloaf's Bat out of Hell II and jams out to BOC's "Don't Fear the Reaper."
***VERY special mentions to: Six Feet Under, Season #5 (is it just me or is the final episode with Sia's "Breathe Me," like, the best f'in' ending to a show ever!?!?!) and to my completion of the Buffy & Angel mythology. Buffy and Angel are imbedded into my genes now, a part of my DNA. That instinctual part of me remembers all these characters and stories, like they've been tapped into me.
***Finally, nods to Heroes (so well written, directed, and acted!) and to Gilmore Girls (sassy dialogue and a wise innocence).

BOOKS:
1) Francesca Lia Block & Carmen Staton -- Ruby. A look at abuse, and how we have to find both outer magic and inner magic to heal us. This novel feels like you're looking in a snowglobe, just in awe of the story, and then you flinch and glance up and realize that we're all in snowglobes, that others are reading our stories or creating them in their own hearts.
***I think I'll leave the Books list with just one item, but I wanted to mention that I can't wait to read Alice Hoffman's The Foretelling. Practical Magic was pure bliss, and it came to me at the right time.

Okay, gang, I think that's it! Nathan has had a great couple of days that've included: a long, long walk with music blasting in my ears; drinks with Mom, Karin, and Ben at the Kennedy School; conversations with some plastic bags (so sue me, I ripped this one off Wes Bentley in American Beauty!); an appreciation of Christmas lights and semi-gaudy attempts at capturing innocence; and making my acquaintance with a certain new coffee pot named Faith. My dreams have been ripe, and scary, and full of desire. I've been dreaming of Tori, Charlotte, some of my ancient enemies, and neighborhoods where I'm walking and feeling wonderful under the sun. A special nod to my mother, Janice Adele Veronica Bonaguro Buck Sinclair, for inspiring me each and every day. She comes in #1 on all my lists, all the time, every year, no competition.

Birth

Aaron called a couple hours ago, startling Mom and I out of sleep. We jumped out of bed, and she answered her phone, and we couldn't help but think something horrible had happened. Quite the opposite. Fake Buck (a.k.a. Justin) had his baby, Dante Aaron! Fake has been a part of our family for years (hence his one-of-a-kind nickname); he lived with us on and off back in the day, he's been Aaron's best friend since they were in grammar school, and he truly is one with our Flesh & Blood. Mom and I called Fake; he sounded tired but extremely happy; Nikki had just been moved to Recovery. Little Dante, Fake said, has been crying his eyes out. Cute little thing! All I can say is: Justin, you're a blessed person, a wonderful part of our family, and I am so glad I have a third younger sibling to pick on forever! (Although I'll never forget the time I played dead, and you and Aaron squirted me with water, and I got SO mad that I chased you around the house....only to trip on one of Mom's antique pieces and cut my foot and start bleeding all over the place! That, my brother, will not be forgotten! Ha!)

Dante, I'm so glad I have you as a nephew:) You ready for this wild, wacky uncle?

I went with the participants of VOA yesterday to the Grotto. Wow. So magical and pure and beautiful. As Ben mentioned in an email, why is it that religion can hold so much love and so much hate at the same time? I mean, I was in pure awe of my surroundings there, even during the day, when not all the candles were lit and the thousands of Christmas lights were sleeping. The large Nativity scene was built back into this huge, lush rock, and an altar of red candles sat to the right of it. The chapels just screamed beauty all around me, and up the elevator, in the gardens, my breath got taken away by statues and paths and trees. I can't wait to go back, so I can visit the St. Francis of Assisi statue. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, but the participants were tired so we headed back to the bus....I look forward to the Grotto's Festival of Lights and to riding that elevator again, taking my time with silence.

Finally, First-Day-of-Kindergarten-don't-leave-me-here-Mom Nathan came out last night. And you know what? It was a birthing, too, of sorts. As I've discussed with several friends, all moments are happening at the same time, and the 29-year-old Nathan is comforting that five-year-old Nathan right now, as I type this. And vice versa. It's nice to have Kindergarten Nathan here, happy and comforted and comforting to others, too. He's cutting out weird shapes from construction paper and making goofy angels for all his friends, for all of you reading this. He is both teacher and student, friend and brother, lover and mother. That's a lot for the first day of kindergarten, but I think he's up for the challenge!

p.s. Happy Birthday, Tara!....Wait, do you and Dante have the same birthday, or did Dante techinically grace us with his presence on the 4th?....Hmm, in any case, Happy Birthday to both of you, you youngsters!

Balloons, Tattoos, & Toothbrush Faeries

Lately balloons have been on my mind, both their symbolic possibilities and their literal joy, of holding their strings, bringing me back to childhood innocence. When I was in New York last May, my family, friends, and I were at this outdoor market, and someone let go of a red balloon, and I watched it sail into the sky. It floated higher and higher and didn't get lost to me behind any skyscrapers, trees, or clouds. I watched this balloon until it became just a little prick in the sky, a barely-there dot, and then it "disappeared." I felt so free in that moment. I was brought back to this moment last Thursday morning at Tiny's Coffee House. This singer, Smoosh, was playing over the speakers, and a local artist--Justin Frey--had artwork on the walls. One of them was of two ravens or crows, and they were in a stormy sky, and in the space between them was a red balloon, its string trailing down.

My new tattoo is almost healed. It's the cover (and an inside drawing) of The Ghost of Windy Hill; the story is by Clyde Robert Bulla, the art by Don Bolognese. Mom and Grandma Nellie read this book to me over and over as a child (the quilt chapter is my favorite), and it's one of my biggest inspirations for wanting to be a writer, particularly of mysteries. It takes weird kinds of guts to get a tattoo. I mean, in my opinion, you have to be SO SURE that you want this thing a permanent part of your flesh & being. That's why I got my Providence tattoo a few years ago: I was so sure that we all are a part of God's benevolent plans that I wanted to honor this structure in my skin. Same with this book cover -- my confidence in my writing, and my knowledge that I am Writer Nathan, always. If I ever doubt God or my writing, I can say, "Ah, but look....here you go, a flesh-reminder. So there!"

Finally, I was visited by the Toothbrush Faerie recently. He left a toothbrush in my dresser drawer, and I was incredibly moved by this. The Toothbrush Faerie is telling me, "Hey, there are plenty of slumber parties on the way. Here's a little piece of proof for you."