Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Veronica Mars Canceled!

Hi everybody. I've been very upset that Veronica Mars was announced as canceled last week. What is a poor gay boy to do without his twin soul teen detective? Well, first off, this sassy diva wrote a letter to Rob Thomas, the creator of our beloved Ms. Ronnie M. I thought I had an email address for him (one established through the CW network), but the email got bounced back to me. I then emailed a bunch of people who have V. Mars sites up online, and some of them graciously wrote me back, but with no leads. So, alas, this is my last resort. I'm posting my letter here. If any of you in the cyber-universe have a connection with Rob Thomas, He of Genius Land, please feel free to pass this along.

Warmest Wishes,

p.s. I am finding a measure of comfort in Freaks & Geeks, my current viewing pleasure. Isn't this show amazing, too?

p.p.s. Since I originally wrote this letter last week, I've done research into Veronica Mars' future, and it seems that Rob Thomas is even contemplating a feature film with my goddess. So, yeah, it's not like my letter is going to blow anyone away with its originality. Still, I had fun writing it; it needs a home, even if it's just on my blog.
Mr. Thomas and everyone else involved with Veronica Mars,

Thank you so much for the past three seasons of a smart, engaging, sassy, sad, dark, and funny show. Really, I so looked forward to every episode, and I got pretty bummed out last night thinking this "may be the end." My question, though: Is it? This definitely felt like a season-endin' cliffhanger, not a series finale (not that even series finales need tidy packages -- look at Twin Peaks).

So, I had a revelation. I'll pretend it's a deep one and that you haven't thought of it:

Have you--and Dawn Ostroff--considered doing "TV movies of the week" with the Veronica Mars characters and stories, ala Murder She Wrote? I have this image of Veronica Mars solving a crime with the FBI (with maybe an overarching mystery/ongoing personal struggle) for a two-hour TV movie during every sweeps month. This way, fans get to experience Ms. Ronnie Mars for some time to come; the CW saves on its budget because it doesn't have to fund an entire season; you have time--and feedback--to structure these movies however you'd like from one sweeps period to the next; the people involved can work on other projects simultaneously; and you capture that anticipated ""Can't wait for the next one in February!" vibe while carrying on that Jessica/Murder She Wrote thingy-ma-jinger for a whole new generation of murder mystery junkies. (And that includes me.)


My best wishes to you all. And hey, if you're looking for a new writer from a non-profit-workin'-writer-in-the-mornings-gay-man-nerdy-club to add to your writing & script crew, I'm your guy! Feel free to check out my blog at:

Warm Regards,
Nathan Buck
Portland, OR (right next to Beaverton! Go Piz!)

p.s. Mr. Thomas, I LOVE that you listen to really loud music while you write. I do the same. Some writers need silence, but I need all those pulsing instruments and siren voices echoing loudly through my headphones. Keep it up!

Friday, May 25, 2007


Nicci, my hair stylist, recently told me the following quote that I find quite insightful. Don't you love the conversations we all have with our stylists? They're mini therapy sessions cloaked with sassy vanity tweaks.

--"Expectations are premeditated resentments."

Ain't that the truth? In the end, I interpret this as meaning that expectations are way more about US than they are about the people we direct them toward. Our own hang-ups--our own fears and hopes--get splashed onto and into our various relationships.

I've also become obsessed with bumper stickers lately. Like, I can't stop finding meaning in so many of them these days. And who knows, everything does happen for a reason, including getting behind a particular car at a particular time.

Some of my faves:

"Bombing for peace Is like fucking for virginity"
PG-13 version I've seen: "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity"

"God is not a Republican...or a Democrat."

On my own car:

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."
"What would Buffy do?"
"Coexist" (you know the one, with funky letters & shapes to represent different religions, spiritualities, and life philosophies)

I could go on and on. Anyone want to send me their favorite quotes, bumper sticker-esque or otherwise?

Oh, my favorite Tori quote:

"You can only be you. A lot of times that's never enough for people."

Ain't that the truth, too?

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Hunters and Gatherers (or, My Philosophical Struggle with Vegetarianism and My Experience Viewing Earthlings)

Christina, she of the lovely Owl Cave tattoo, has given me permission to post my email to her--and part of her response--regarding my experience viewing the documentary, Earthlings. Here you go:

I've had a really interesting and powerful couple of days. I feel a sense of raw peace. I'm not sure what I mean by that, but it feels good. I think it's a sense of collectedness inside myself that is tinged with being able to look certain pieces of darkness in the face.

Last night, I took Ollie for a really long walk out in the sunshine. I listened to my headphones, and I was awash in all these great sensory stimulations. I power-walked, and I worked up a sweat, my heartbeat. Upon getting home (Mom hadn't returned from the new house yet), I thought, okay, time for some Nathan Time. I was initially going to watch some of the extras from Twin Peaks' second season, but then--with the house so silent--I decided to put in Earthlings. About ten minutes into it, Mom got home and joined me.

I was filled with this gut-wrenching sick feeling while viewing the documentary. It just got into my brain and heart (and stomach), and I cried & flinched & felt ashamed & felt nauseous & felt thankful I was watching it. Mom and I had ordered a pizza, and I couldn't eat the (cheese and pineapple) pizza without putting the film on pause....

....I only got a half hour through it last night. I said to Jan, "Okay, I'm convinced! I'm now a vegetarian! I don't need to see the rest to convince me any further." We then watched some Alias Season 5 and the new episode of Veronica Mars that aired last night. Upon waking today, right when I was going to start my ritualistic workout routine, I decided instead to just put on the coffee and watch the rest of Earthlings. I knew I had to watch it; I felt it in my blood. I owed it to myself. This is for many reasons: my new book deals a lot with animal cruelty; I wanted to see what else was said about how animals are treated in different capacities; I wanted to show myself I could follow through with something so gut-wrenching and stare at it, even if I flinched. I succeeded. I finished it.

I am now considering myself a vegetarian. I said to Ben and Jan, "I don't know if this says something good or bad about me that it 'only' took watching this film to sway me." It can be taken as a strong thing: once I saw this, bam, I'm ready to make some changes. On the other hand, maybe this whole process/experience has exposed some of my weaknesses: if it only took that first half hour for me to put a halt on my heart and stomach in so many ways, why couldn't I have stopped before? Why did I need to wait to see Earthlings and witness these atrocities to make a change when I knew--before viewing--that I could be convinced to make positive changes for myself? Maybe the reasons don't matter in the end. And, if I'm to "go there," there is always a chance (maybe a big one) that as time goes on and some of the film's images and effects settle into my subconscious, I will decide to give meat another shot. Who knows. I certainly don't think it's a black-and-white situation. We come from a carnivorous evolutionary background. Our DNA wants, in many ways, to have meat be a part of our diet. However, "evolutionary" is the key word because our bodies have changed; our world's biological development has changed; we are far, far, far from treating animals the way we should and thus are committing crimes, in essence, crimes that often occur behind closed doors. Not many people want to open these doors. They purposefully don't ask for the keys. Blissful ignorance.

Can I ever become vegan? At this point, that seems unlikely. A part of me thinks that hey, if I'm going to stop eating meat I should stop any "food habits" that contribute to animal cruelty. But I also know that life and personal evolution are about baby steps, stage one to stage two to stage three, and maybe stage one is where I will stay, who knows. And right now, today, I'm wearing my leather shoes that I've had for about ten years. I don't anticipate stopping wearing them anytime soon.

In the end, I know that I'm going to give vegetarianism a shot. I've always wanted to, and I've often felt this heart-tug telling me to do so. It comes from a health standpoint and a moral standpoint. Again, both these standpoints exist inside a murky gray area. And I think you're a good inspiration & role model for how to incorporate new practices into my rituals and habits: I certainly don't want to start preaching to people. I've always hated when people have done that to me--there are many kinds of guilt & "religion"--and it would make me the biggest of hypocrites. So I think I will take a nice Christina Bondurant approach, and silently work on my own spirituality, and offer my own little nuggets about Nathan Choices when they come up naturally in the contexts of conversations.

We'll see what happens.

Much love to you. Thank you for listening.

Most of Christina's response, the parts that are applicable to the above:

Oh, Nathan! Thank you for this email. And thank you, thank you, thank you for the voice mail you left late last week, which I have saved and listened to several times when I needed some love.

There are so many things I could say in response to your email. It's hard to figure these things out! We each must do it for ourselves. Please know that I support you and for me the hardest thing is that the way our mainstream society works is not very supportive when I'm trying to make healthy changes in my life... whatever they are.

So if you go forward on the path of vegetarianism, remember you have good friends to turn to when you need support or just to be with someone else who has seen some of what you have seen. I think it is easy to put the hard things aside in our world, we are taught to do that all the time! And I get that. But, for me, once I have knowledge and the truth about something I have to try and maintain an awareness and change my habits around it, as much as I can... it feels like a duty to me. As a human being I have all this power, I might as well try to use it for good. Like Spiderman! How geeky.

Lastly, you are the ONLY loved one I have who was not already veggie or vegan willing to watch this film... it is a courageous thing to open yourself to a film like that and, on behalf of the animals and our world, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! Seriously.


p.s. I am wearing some leather shoes my mom bought me a few years ago right now! Everyone does it differently, my expectation for myself is that I do the best I possibly can :)

Friday, May 04, 2007

The Starfish Leaf

B has this little green leaf that has gotten stuck to his living room window on the outside. Rain and winds have plastered it right in the middle of the pane of glass, and it's been there for several days. Last night we were sitting in his two chairs, and he pointed out the leaf and then at this lovely shadow it made on the ceiling. This morning, when I awoke and the sky was this hazy purple right before the sun(rain)rise, I paused for several moments and admired the leaf, its ceiling shadow, its shadow on the wall next to the giant framed map, its half-shadow right above the mirror, cut in half by the frame. I was filled with this feeling of peace and wonder, which had a lot to do with the leaf and a lot to do with B and I, our conversations, our connections. I'd told him the leaf looked like a starfish, and as some of you know I hold a special place in my heart for starfish. I can't even tell you why, except they hold magic and mystery for me, and if Life is a figurative Ocean, then I relate more to starfish than anything else. (Well, let's face it, my gay boy side that worships Madonna really wants to be a mermaid, but that's a different story.)

I felt a tangible energy in the air this morning. It sifted over me, gently.